Category: Affirming Families

Dear White People, Let’s Talk About Combating Racism

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Republished at The Huffington Post

Dear White People,

I’ve debated for a while whether or not to even write what I’ve learned so far on racism, out of fear of taking up space in the racial justice movement when that space could’ve been better occupied by a person of color who actually lives the experience and is way better versed than someone like me. I don’t want to just be another white ally putting herself in the spotlight.

But the fact of the matter is I am a white person, I am a writer and educator, I have a small audience, and my white privilege was the major catalyst that has gotten me to this place. So that’s where I’m writing from – that place of privilege that has afforded me opportunities that other people don’t have, like being a contributor for Huffington Post, The Good Men Project, Spoke/Red Tricycle, and Scary Mommy, to name a few. Make no mistake, people of color have been fighting to be heard for a long time. The experiences leading up to my getting published were because of white privilege, but my success in getting published happened overnight because Continue reading →

Fishing in a Sea of Grief

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A version of this was republished at The Huffington Post under the title: How I Chased My Gender Creative Child’s Bullies Away

I know there are people who don’t understand why, or don’t agree with the fact that my family is out & proud, advocating publicly for our youngest, gender creative child. That’s okay. They don’t need to understand or agree with us because it’s our family, and it’s what’s right for us, right now. But we know there are people who don’t understand (though they might, if they cared to simply ask us). And we know there are people who disagree (though they’re judging only what they can see on the surface, and are all too happy to tell us).

There could be many reasons. Maybe they don’t know that my son Charlie encouraged me to write more publicly about him, something beyond my little blog with 2 subscribers. I’d been keeping journals my entire life. I always loved writing, and called it my brain-purging; my therapy. My youngest child actually wanted his story told. Before I ever went public, he heard Continue reading →

I Vow Not to Fill Social Media with Puppies and Kittens

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The gauntlet has been thrown down: choruses of people on social media are writing that they can’t handle the negativity following this week’s election, and are requesting that their feeds only be filled with pictures of cute puppies and kittens.

Like Trump, I want to make a contract for my fellow Americans:

1.) I vow that I will not be filling Facebook with pictures of puppies and kittens – at least not anytime soon. Likewise, I vow that I will not post kumbaya statements talking about how Trump really does have America’s best interests at heart and how everyone should now come together and unite, despite the fact that he’s been tearing us apart for well over a year. 

2.) I vow that I will not normalize abuse. Ever. Everywhere I turn it seems people are normalizing a man who has spewed hatred, intolerance, bigotry, and fear, fear that is legitimate because the man literally bragged about committing sexual assault, how he could shoot someone in the middle of 5th Avenue and still get elected, and stated he would break families apart. Continue reading →

Alone in a Crowded Park

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Republished under the title ‘Why I Worry When I Take My Gender Creative Son to the Park’ on Scary Mommy, and also at The Huffington Post

I have been sitting here at the local community park for over an hour, on this bustling, crisp October afternoon. I have counted at least forty-five children running, playing, shouting, and swinging. Two young girls skip right beside me, sweetly singing and holding hands. I feel the fresh air penetrate my pores in their swirling aftermath of sand and dust. A brother and sister team of around four years old are blowing loud raspberries at each other on a perpetual loop and fist-fighting. Dad looks up from his smartphone once and says, “please stop.” They don’t. He looks back down at his phone. I immediately recognize and empathize with the feeling of defeat. Continue reading →