Category: Affirming Families

Are Trans Women Really Women? Why Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s Answer Matters

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Ah, semantics. If ever there was a case for the importance of words and their intended, assumed, or literal meanings, it is this story. In case you haven’t yet heard, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, a world-renowned, award-winning Nigerian author and feminist, was recently interviewed by Cathy Newman for the UK’s Channel 4 News and asked if she thought trans women were really women. Specifically, Ms. Newman asked, “…does it matter how you’ve arrived at being a woman – I mean, for example, if you’re a trans woman who grew up identifying as a man, who grew up enjoying the privileges of being a man, does that take away from becoming a woman? Are you any less of a real woman?” In short, Adichie’s answer was, “My feeling is trans women are trans women.”

Notice she didn’t say, “trans women are women.” (If you want to hear just the quote in question, skip to approx. the 2:44 mark).

Adichie went on to explain how if you’ve lived Continue reading →

Misogyny: Do Americans Really Hate Women?

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About two years ago, Target stores decided to make a radical, positive change in the way they marketed their toys, home, and entertainment departments. A news release announced they were “ditching” gender labels. They were going to accomplish this by doing away with gender suggestions on signs, as those seemed to be antiquated relics in a society that is ever growing upwards in its quest to understand, empathize with, and embrace the non-binary construct of gender. Continue reading →

Rainbow Kids: Don’t Quit. We’re Fighting For You

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Republished on The Huffington Post 

Dear Trans Kids,

I’m writing to you, but not just to you. I’m also writing to all the rainbow kids, whatever you call yourselves, however you identify. I am writing to you as an American-born, white, straight, cisgender, liberal Christian mother of three with a good education, a good job, three good kids, and a good husband. What do I have to offer you? My unconditional love and my unwavering support in a battle for your rights – a battle that with “45” in office is only just beginning.

You don’t know me, but I’ve been advocating for you for the past nine years.

My youngest child is a boy who Continue reading →

Birthday Blues and a Review

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On Tuesday, Charlie turned 11. This should’ve been a joyful day, but I could tell something was wrong when he got up. He seemed distant. We went to school and went on with our days. Matt came for Charlie’s lunch at school and we all sat together with a good friend that Charlie picked. Matt brought McDonald’s and cupcakes with neon colored frosting. When it was time to pass out cupcakes, Charlie and his friend gave one to everybody in the class, but Charlie did not want one. Very strange. They took the rest of them upstairs to share with the teachers. We hugged goodbye and I Continue reading →

Dear America, It Gets Better. Love, North Carolina

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Republished at The Huffington Post

Dear America,

We know. Catching clips of that inaugural address was painful. You tried to erase the doom-and-gloom “American carnage” idea on which Trump waxed poetically, only to see the clips of his CIA press conference the next day quickly melt down into: “How ’bout my speech, huh? Did you like my speech?! How ’bout my numbers?! ME, ME, ME! LOOK AT ME!”

But then news started pouring in regarding Continue reading →

The Comments Section

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Republished at The Huffington Post

I’m a blogger and op-ed writer. I write essay-style, non-fiction pieces pulled from my every day life experiences and opinions. (Note that I used the words blogger and op-ed writer, not journalist, not novelist, not poet laureate.) I write opposite the editorial pages. And I write on polarizing topics like LGBTQ+ issues, gender, racism, and white privilege. You can find my work here on Huffington Post, here on Scary Mommy, and also here where someone wrote about me, here on The Good Men Project, here at Red Tricycle, and here with the NBC Today Parenting Team, to name a few.

Sometimes at night, I’ll be in bed, scrolling through my social media feeds when out of nowhere I see my own words in syndication, like this: 259

This was a piece I originally Continue reading →

‘Gender Creative’ is Not the New ‘Hipster’

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Republished at The Huffington Post

They’re everywhere. Gender non-conforming, gender diverse, gender variant people. From cisgender men wearing “man buns” to cisgender women dressing “dapper,” gender ambiguity seems to be the hipster thing now – especially among the Hollywood elite. Hipster culture via gender expression may have been living outwardly on the fringe for quite some time, but it wasn’t until about 2013 or so when gorgeous cis, hetero men my age like Jared Leto and Joaquin Phoenix became one with the love-it-or-hate-it “man bun” hairdo. Continue reading →

Misunderstood

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There’s a reason why this Apple ad took home the 2014 Creative Arts Emmy for “Most Outstanding Commercial” for their holiday themed ad titled “Misunderstood.” Since Apple yanked the ad off YouTube a while back, it’s hard to find. But I found a less-than-good quality reproduction of it which I’m posting here. If you missed it in 2014, check it out. Though it was two years ago, the message is still just as relevant. Continue reading →