A Word of Caution on Gender Reveal Parties

Originally published on The Huffington Post

Gender reveal parties are one of the hottest trends among today’s expectant parents. They’ve been going on for at least eight years, but in case you aren’t familiar, gender reveal parties are meant to be exactly what they imply: getting a group of friends and/or family together with the expectant parents for a party, and “revealing” the baby’s gender at one time so that everyone present can celebrate the biological sex of the upcoming birth. The “reveal” portion of the party can be done in a variety of ways, most of which can be unearthed by investing some time into a Google or Pinterest search.

Generally, the whole process begins with the expectant couple going for an ultrasound to determine the baby’s biological sex. Some parents want to know at this point, others don’t. If they want to be surprised along with the party guests, the ultrasound tech writes the baby’s sex on a piece of paper and seals it in an envelope. From there, the message is sent to the appropriate professional who will use it to create a bundle of pink or blue balloons to be released out of a huge cardboard box on the front lawn. Or, the knowledge may be sent to a baker who will use it to create a pink or blue cake hidden beneath piped white frosting. Or, it may be given to a sales associate in a clothing store to box up a gender specific baby outfit, wrap it, and have the couple open it at the party while their guests look on. There are as many variations and ideas of how to do the gender reveal portion as there are stars in the sky. Continue reading

The Moment I Knew My Son Was Different

(originally published on The Huffington Post)

The year was 2010, and my youngest son was 4. I felt that I shouldn’t have to justify why I thought it was okay for him to wear a princess costume whenever he felt like it. But, I found that I often did, if only to placate the masses. Perhaps, I thought, it could even enlighten someone. I thought if I could get just one person to see what is true, what is healthy, and what is good about harmless self-expression, I would be more at peace.

Coincidentally, around the same time that my son was heavily into princess play and dress-up, there was all this controversy going around about little boys who like to dress up in princess costumes. Continue reading

My Rockstar Boy Wears Twinkle Toe Sneakers

(originally published on The Huffington Post)

It’s me, the mom who shared this piece that was featured on the front page of HuffPost for a few days: Why I Refuse to Apologize for My Son Wearing a Dress. And earlier, this one, in the Voices section: When Your 4th Grade Son is Called “Gay.” Today was our shoe shopping day. My 10-year-old needed shoes badly, as his big toe had finally pushed through the few strands of fabric that were holding the toe cap together for the past two months. Continue reading

Why I Refuse to Apologize for My Son Wearing a Dress

(originally published on The Huffington Post)

Transgender: The American “hot button” du jour. Even as I type this article, Dr. Phil is on the TV in the background, interviewing a man who is sobbing over the pain he feels with his adult son transitioning to female. He feels that “someone has got him;” that “something has come over” his son. He absolutely cannot accept his son as anything other than male.

He is shaking and seething as Dr. Phil says, “We’re going to soon meet ‘Steph’,” (the man’s trans daughter, who wishes to debut as her “authentic self” on national TV). Earlier today, Kathie Lee & Hoda were answering viewer’s questions on gender stereotypes, discussing gender non-specific toys, as if this were the latest politically correct semantics dance, a passing hoopla for which we should get on board if we want to appear “social savvy.”

If I could have one wish granted right now, it would be Continue reading