Tag: gender assumptions

PSA: ‘Transgender’ Is Not A Sexual Orientation

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Letter T - Magnolia Boxwelve minutes had passed. As I sat in the waiting room with the electronic intake forms (conveniently located on an iPad, inside of what appeared to be a dog-proof case), I began sinking further into the corner of the comfy leather couch. I yawned. It was too warm in this doctor’s office, and I was feeling sleepier by the second. I glanced at my phone. 8:45 a.m.

“I’ve been completing forms for 15 minutes,” I thought. “There’s nothing else left to cover.” 

As I continued straining to remember which family member — paternal grandmother, paternal grandfather, maternal grandmother, maternal grandfather — had which type of heart condition, cancer, or cholesterol, or thyroid problems, my name was finally called, as always, last name mispronounced.  Continue reading →

Changing Our Social Landscape: The “New” Faces Of Trans & Genderqueer People

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Also published at Medium

No, they’re not new per se. What’s new is how we’re seeing their faces more broadly, as symbolic sledgehammers of society, breaking down walls that have for decades stood in the way of authenticity.

Jacob Tobia. Jeffrey Marsh. Harry James Hanson. Hunter Schafer. CJ. Charlie. Get to know these (and hundreds more like them) as the lovely human beings they are. These gifted souls are Continue reading →

There’s No ‘Right’ Way To Be Trans: 5 Things Parents Need To Know

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“Insistent, persistent, and consistent.”

Parents of trans kids are typically familiar with this trinity of words; they’ve been considered the guiding principals in determining whether a child is actually transgender, or just going through some sort of phase. When parents rush to the internet, often frantically, searching for resources because their child is showing or telling them that they are different from their sex assigned at birth, the “insistent, persistent, and consistent” mantra shows up more often than not. Those words are the foremost, foundational concept that research regarding trans youth has built upon (considering not much research on trans youth – specifically, the Gender Affirmative Model – really became more available until around 2013). Continue reading →

Are Trans Women Really Women? Why Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s Answer Matters

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Ah, semantics. If ever there was a case for the importance of words and their intended, assumed, or literal meanings, it is this story. In case you haven’t yet heard, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, a world-renowned, award-winning Nigerian author and feminist, was recently interviewed by Cathy Newman for the UK’s Channel 4 News and asked if she thought trans women were really women. Specifically, Ms. Newman asked, “…does it matter how you’ve arrived at being a woman – I mean, for example, if you’re a trans woman who grew up identifying as a man, who grew up enjoying the privileges of being a man, does that take away from becoming a woman? Are you any less of a real woman?” In short, Adichie’s answer was, “My feeling is trans women are trans women.”

Notice she didn’t say, “trans women are women.” (If you want to hear just the quote in question, skip to approx. the 2:44 mark).

Adichie went on to explain how if you’ve lived Continue reading →

A Word of Caution on Gender Reveal Parties

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Originally published on The Huffington Post

Gender reveal parties are one of the hottest trends among today’s expectant parents. They’ve been going on for at least eight years, but in case you aren’t familiar, gender reveal parties are meant to be exactly what they imply: getting a group of friends and/or family together with the expectant parents for a party, and “revealing” the baby’s gender at one time so that everyone present can celebrate the biological sex of the upcoming birth. The “reveal” portion of the party can be done in a variety of ways, most of which can be unearthed by investing some time into a Google or Pinterest search.

Generally, the whole process begins with the expectant couple going for an ultrasound to determine the baby’s biological sex. Some parents want to know at this point, others don’t. If they want to be surprised along with the party guests, the ultrasound tech writes the baby’s sex on a piece of paper and seals it in an envelope. From there, the message is sent to the appropriate professional who will use it to create a bundle of pink or blue balloons to be released out of a huge cardboard box on the front lawn. Or, the knowledge may be sent to a baker who will use it to create a pink or blue cake hidden beneath piped white frosting. Or, it may be given to a sales associate in a clothing store to box up a gender specific baby outfit, wrap it, and have the couple open it at the party while their guests look on. There are as many variations and ideas of how to do the gender reveal portion as there are stars in the sky. Continue reading →