The First Time My Son Chose to Wear a Dress in Public

July 25, 2016August 15, 20167 Comments

It was the day before an event for which I was speaking. I had just finished up work and was heading out for the day when I realized this would be the last opportunity to run some last minute errands before my speaking event. I had my ten-year-old son with me since he attends school where I work. Our first stop was going to be at a women’s clothing store to pick up some accessories that matched my dress. I had just been in there to purchase my new dress. The store was nice, but not fancy, with a huge display of bright and colorful spring ensembles and dresses in the latest trending patterns and fabrics. I knew that my son would be in complete awe.

As I’ve written about before, my youngest child is gender creative. This means that he does not want to change his anatomy or be a girl (at least not at this point in his life). He simply prefers all the things that are marketed to girls, and tends to bond better with girls than with boys. Continue reading →

The Moment I Knew My Son Was Different

July 4, 2016August 15, 2016Leave a comment

(originally published on The Huffington Post)

The year was 2010, and my youngest son was 4. I felt that I shouldn’t have to justify why I thought it was okay for him to wear a princess costume whenever he felt like it. But, I found that I often did, if only to placate the masses. Perhaps, I thought, it could even enlighten someone. I thought if I could get just one person to see what is true, what is healthy, and what is good about harmless self-expression, I would be more at peace.

Coincidentally, around the same time that my son was heavily into princess play and dress-up, there was all this controversy going around about little boys who like to dress up in princess costumes. Continue reading →

Why I Refuse to Apologize for My Son Wearing a Dress

July 4, 2016January 9, 20176 Comments

(originally published on The Huffington Post)

Transgender: The American “hot button” du jour. Even as I type this article, Dr. Phil is on the TV in the background, interviewing a man who is sobbing over the pain he feels with his adult son transitioning to female. He feels that “someone has got him;” that “something has come over” his son. He absolutely cannot accept his son as anything other than male.

He is shaking and seething as Dr. Phil says, “We’re going to soon meet ‘Steph’,” (the man’s trans daughter, who wishes to debut as her “authentic self” on national TV). Earlier today, Kathie Lee & Hoda were answering viewer’s questions on gender stereotypes, discussing gender non-specific toys, as if this were the latest politically correct semantics dance, a passing hoopla for which we should get on board if we want to appear “social savvy.”

If I could have one wish granted right now, it would be Continue reading →

When Your 4th Grade Son is Called ‘Gay’

July 4, 2016April 17, 2017Leave a comment

(originally published on The Huffington Post)

I guess it’s the inevitable happening. But I was hoping it wouldn’t. My 9-year-old gender creative son has become acutely aware that most of society thinks a little boy owning stereotypical “girls’ stuff” is inappropriate. Though he boldly chose, and wears to school a backpack matching his personality: a glittery rainbow explosion of kittens, hearts, and cupcakes, in 4^th grade, he is excluded by peers. Almost overnight he has learned the ugly truth about gender stereotypes. In our house, we don’t have “boy toys” or “girl toys.” The understanding for our family of five is that we just have “toys,” and everyone can play. Continue reading →